dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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