Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
