ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
