SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
