Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
