your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
