What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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