Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
