Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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