hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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