I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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