non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
