good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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