Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
