how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
