Non-Jews are for practice
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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