Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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