I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize