if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
