I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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