Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Randomize