Where is the hickey?
if only i could text you this smell
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
