I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
