it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
