i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
