what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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