I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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