you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
