Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
