great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Panties = found
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
