Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We need to rekindle our bromance
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize