When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Life is so much better after having sex.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
