She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
