She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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