dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
