Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize