U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
