Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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