remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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