It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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