I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
