Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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