it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
