my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
