like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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