My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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