No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
