It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
