Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he puts the penis in happiness.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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