Betty ford says i'm here all night
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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