hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Where is the hickey?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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