his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
