I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
