Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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