god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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