we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
