Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
