smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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