White coat. Heels.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize