therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
